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DIVINE PACE
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DIVINE PACE

I wrote once that life is a fast train.Now I see that I was the train and life was the view. How fast can you run toward the end of your life before everything around you, even the beautiful thoughts within you, are blurred?  October will mark for me the passing of a year, of...

SEARCHING FOR SOUL
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SEARCHING FOR SOUL

I’m perched in the waiting room chair anticipating test results and this image of Ron’s fingers, cupped and interlaced, pops into my head.  “A perfect little bowl!” he contemplated with curious delight. At the time I dismissed the gesture as silly: I was wrong not to notice that the consequential moments of our lives are...

THE DRIVE
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THE DRIVE

Someone wise once told me that if you want to have a difficult conversation with your child, take him for a drive. Over decades, clocking countless hours, one boy and then another would load into the womb of our SUV and we’d wind through the canyons while I waited quietly until all the guarded and...

LET. US. PRAY.
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LET. US. PRAY.

I am no expert in prayer. I’m not even certain what “expert in prayer” really means. But sometimes when I’m struggling with the words, I imagine how those I admire in my faith would begin. I wish that as I scroll through my feed I would read the words they are praying now. To learn...

RUSH TO THE ROAR
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RUSH TO THE ROAR

“Submission to the will of God.” Regardless of how it may appear, did you know that’s what Islam means? It’s 4am and in the darkness I notice it’s the 19th. The 19th—The day I was born. The 19th—The day my mama died. The 19th—The day I was diagnosed with cancer. In addition to its personal...

FIND YOUR VOICE
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FIND YOUR VOICE

When I was four, we moved across country. And then in perfect cadence, we moved every four years after that. From Chicago to Dallas, Kansas City to San Diego, we followed the dream of a young daddy, never doubting the future he envisioned for us in a new place. It’s hard to say whether adaptability...

THE BACK SIDE OF SUNFLOWERS
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THE BACK SIDE OF SUNFLOWERS

We drove to visit the sunflowers. Not the ones cut and waiting to be nestled in a vase, but the ones rooted and unassaulted…the ones aware of no other experience than bending toward the sun. As far as my eyes can see there are ten thousand yellow petals ravenous for the light. The earth is...

NO SHAME IN REST
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NO SHAME IN REST

Meet me through Cameron’s lens, the boy who crowded into the bathroom with his brothers and shaved my head. “G.I. Jane,” he shouts above the motor and the waves. And this is the smile that transcends any notion of a hard season put to rest. Rest. For me, a tiny word that has always wedged...

STAY CLOSE
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STAY CLOSE

I would look in the mirror. Bald. So strange. So severe. The Vain in me whispered, “hide,” The Victor in me shouted, “share.” We are, each of us, so exquisite, so Otherworldly. And yet we wander from the origin of our true belonging to this hunger to fit in. Bald kept me close.  It made...

TAKING TERRITORY
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TAKING TERRITORY

I live at the edge of a forest. When we lived at the beach, I used to rake the sand in front of our cottage, so I know it won’t surprise you that I rake the dirt under the trees. I have full awareness that the forest doesn’t belong to me, but I take great...